Who I am: I am the Righteousness of God by the Blood of Jesus. Need I say more?

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I am just a girl who is madly in love with Jesus. My hubby and I tied the knot in June of 2013. I love to sing, write, and worship. I am a lover of people, and my goal in life is to ensure those around me always know and see the Love of Jesus. I'm also one of the unlucky who have experienced loss, heartache, and the realities of the complications that come along with putting a bun in that oven. It's a wild ride, it's a fun ride, and I'd do it all over again if it meant I got to walk with Jesus even closer.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

In Memory of.. 7/25 & 9/24


Today is National Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. 

When I pre-thought about my blog I had absolutely no intentions of discussing this. However, I felt that it was a disservice, not only to myself, but to the hundreds and thousands of women who have experienced this type of loss.  I want to make clear that this, in no way, is meant to discount the loss of any child, at all. However, I think it is important to validate and support those women who have had early losses. 

My first pregnancy ended as an ectopic at 6 weeks. If you missed that story (part 1) you see it here. I don't think I could ever capture the emotions that went along with my experience. This blog may give some insight as to how it has rerouted my journey and surely changed my thoughts about almost everything. I am fairly certain that there will never be anything that can replace what was lost.

My second ended as an early miscarriage. This did not bring quite as big a blow to my emotions as the first, but none-the-less it was quite shattering.  It came with all sorts of baggage that myself, nor my husband, was prepared for. Matter of fact, it is unfair for me to even try and compare the two. It's quite impossible to even express the stark differences and challenges that I faced. For me, it was like adding another form of anesthesia on top of already being numb. Thankfully, my Husband is amazing, and my Father loves me. That changes everything.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 
  But he said to me, 
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

It is so amazing to me that 30% of ALL pregnancies end in miscarriage, and 1 in 40 pregnancies end as ectopic. That is fairly high if your asking me! 
What wrecks me the most is I am so certain 100% of these losses were desperately loved and desired. 

Although I cannot say that every woman who has lost a pregnancy feels this way, and I cannot claim that they were impacted in the same way I was. I do know, if she's anything like me, she probably just wants a hug, and to know that she's loved. There are no other words necessary, and there are  (probably) no other words that she would rather hear.

So, here's my cheers to the STRONG, brave, amazing women who have endured all this and still smile. Cheers to the women who keeps on keeping on even when she'd rather not. 
You, my dear, are a powerful force whom is deeply and profoundly loved by Jesus (and me, whether I know you personally, or not).

On another note, here lies proof of my first run walk....post wedding, post surgery, and post miscarriage. I wish I had a video of the gasps of air I couldn't find, and the jiggly legs that didn't want to go any further. It would have provided a few giggles I'm sure! This picture is Proof that I survived!! Thank you Jesus! I am sure that my body will thank me later, but for now I am getting hate notes from my muscles!

This is George. He had surgery on Friday, and his weekend was one to take notes on. This boy can sleep I tell ya! Sleeping for days... Literally. Each time I found him he was basking in the warm sunshine, sleeping away. It was quite possibly one of the cutest kitten moments ever. Period.

Meet Momma B. We laugh and joke about our Mexican heritage. This weekend was no exception. I love serving with this lady, and I might add she is absolutely one of my most favorites. This picture was taken at a church potluck at an orchard, picking apples and sunflower seeds. Needless to say, we were using our inherited talents. At this particular moment, I was thankful for my background, and thankful that I get to share it with a wonderful woman such as her. If I haven't said it lately, I love you to the moon and back Momma B. Seriously.

So, the take home notes for today:
Hug a woman who needs it, don't get behind on your exercise, take lots of naps, and tell those people who mean a lot to you that you love them.

And.... Don't ever forget who you are loved by. 


  1. Cheers to you my strong, beautiful and incredibly courageous friend. So now since I didn't see you yesterday and because I am sick, I am sending the biggest virtual hug imaginable!!! I love you and your incredible way of sharing your story, to the moon and back!! Xbox - now and forever!!

  2. I'm am so glad you found me!! I know this post is from October not this month (December) but I just wanted to say how much I agree with you on the part about just hugging a woman and letting her know she is loved. That is so perfect! After my loss and during the process of letting people know when they asked I would have rather just this, instead of feeling the need to talk about it. Maybe it's still too "new"? Your words just struck me :) I am so sorry for your losses but am excited to follow your journey.

    1. Amie, I have learned through my process that it's always going to feel 'new', and quite honestly I would much rather a hug than to hash out my feelings for the ten-billionth time. The day I wrote this, I was greeted at the door by my wonderful husband who just grabbed me and hugged me. Of course I started bawling and he just held me until I was ready to let go. It was perfect. It is most definitely in my "how to" book when loving on someone who's been through loss like this. I am so encouraged that you have visted my blog! Excited to get to know you, and watch eachother grow in this process! HUGS to you friend!! xox