Sunday proved to be an emotional type of day. Even before stepping out the door I was unable to control the faucets from my eyes. Feeling rather embarrassed and wanting to constantly dismiss and apologize for my tears, I slid in the front seat and my (amazingly patient) hubby drove us to church. Surprisingly I was able to gather up some control and socialize while waiting for worship to start. My favorite part, singing my guts out to the One who deserves it all! Then that oddly familiar feeling of a lump starts to form in my throat. Awesome.
So I fight the tears and then slowly try and embrace the internal struggle. Obviously The Lord wanted to soften my heart for a purpose today. I so desperately wanted to know what it was the He decided I needed today. Apparently I needed many walls to crumble for Him to be heard loud and clear.
"Morgan, you have accepted your circumstances; But, you aren't yet thankful for them. "
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this Gods will for you in Christ Jesus.
All right. Que the ugly tears! How do I thank God for these circumstances I'm not so thankful for?
Well, I do believe that my spiritual journey had taught me to continually surrender things that are out of my control. By no means have I perfected this act. However, I firmly believe for me, this choice of surrender brought me to the softness I needed to recieve this word and apply it to my life. I would have continued on believing full well I was doing the right thing and accepting my circumstances. But, acceptance wasn't enough for my personal journey.
Lord forgive me for not being thankful for the opportunity to be thankful and thank you for giving me the choice to be thankful in ALL circumstances.
It was said well on Sunday by our Pastor:
"Thankfulness keeps the spiritual heart pumping"
It was no wonder I found myself struggling to see Gods hand in this. It was no wonder I felt cut off for so long. I was so concerned enough about myself I wasn't allowing God to do what he does best. God is concerned about me enough that I need not worry about myself.
I am so thankful for the opportunity I have to choose thankfulness, joy, and Jesus. If I based everything off my emotions, I would surely crumble. My feelings are so unreliable. That is why I have a Savoir who paid it all to give me the freedom to choose, to choose Him in ALL circumstances.
I find it fitting that in the month of November The Lord has brought thankfulness to my attention. Perhaps I've become too complacent. Perhaps, in my flesh, I've become too wrapped up in what needs to be done or what I want done, instead of what's already been finished.
I'm not suggesting Sunday was the all powerful pivotal moment, but it surely brought something to my immediate attention that I need to work out with The Lord. Something that desperately needs ao much attention, and something, when I'm willing and open, He will mold me into thankfulness. He is certainly defining His sufficency more clearly for me and bringing me closer to Him. His graciousness for restoration in my life is an amazing journey and when allowed to be stripped of everything, His promises are even more clear! I just love the way He works.
So- here is a short list of events that today, I certainly am thankful for!
These two. I can't begin to say how thankful I am for this little peanut, the momma, and the other little peanut growing in her! SO thankful.
Incredibly thankful for the opportunity to go to Disney on Ice with these girls! Incredibly thankful for each one of these girls, they melt my heart, like a lot.
Very thankful for the laughs and smiles this boy provides. And, that hair!!! Oh my gosh, how stinkin' cute!
And this little one.... She holds an extra special place in my heart. Words aren't enough to describe how thankful I am for her.
I am one lucky auntie to have so many wonderful nieces and nephews and friends and family. Super thankful.
I hope to hear what YOU are thankful for!