Who I am: I am the Righteousness of God by the Blood of Jesus. Need I say more?

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I am just a girl who is madly in love with Jesus. My hubby and I tied the knot in June of 2013. I love to sing, write, and worship. I am a lover of people, and my goal in life is to ensure those around me always know and see the Love of Jesus. I'm also one of the unlucky who have experienced loss, heartache, and the realities of the complications that come along with putting a bun in that oven. It's a wild ride, it's a fun ride, and I'd do it all over again if it meant I got to walk with Jesus even closer.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Alive - Natalie Grant

Who but You, could breathe and leave a trail of galaxies and dream of me?

What kind of Love is writing my story till the end with Mercy’s pen? Only You.
What kind of king would choose to wear a crown that bleeds and scars to win my heart?

What kind of Love tells me I’m the reason He can’t stay inside the grave?
You. Is it You? Standing here before my eyes, every part of my heart cries

Alive! Alive! Look what Mercy’s overcome; Death has lost and Love has won Alive! Alive!

Hallelujah, Risen Lord, the only One I fall before. I am His because He is, alive.

Who could speak, and send the demons back from where they came, with just one Name?

What other heart would let itself be broken every time till He healed mine?
Only You could turn my darkness into dawn; running right into Your arms

Alive! Alive! Look what Mercy’s overcome; Death has lost and Love has won Alive! Alive!

Hallelujah, Risen Lord, the only One I fall before. I am His because He is, Alive.
Emmanuel, the promised King, the baby who made angels sing,
 Son of Man who walked with us, healing, breathing in our dust.

The author of all history, the answer to all mysteries,
 The Lamb of God who rolled away the stone in front of every grave.

Alive! Alive! Look what Mercy’s overcome;

Death has lost and Love has won Alive! I am His because He is alive.


It is because of Him and Him alone that I can be strong when I am weak... Alive, when I feel dead... In Him and Him alone I am found when I feel lost, and Saved when I fail.

As I ponder each word it becomes more and more clear to me that His divine plan is for my good. How? I am completely unsure. But, because He loves me, and he wrote my story "with mercy's pen" I can't not believe that His plan is greater. Through death and Life. Through feast and famine, it is good. I praise Him that I have been given the opportunity to rest in the certainty that I am His, and I have His spirit within me to claim wholeness because of what He conquered. He died so that I might live in freedom, especially when my body fails me, or my own plans (that I dream up) fail me. I praise Him for the Mercy I don't yet see. I praise Him for my story, although it may differ from what I expected and wanted. I praise Him for what I don't yet know, and I praise Him for the confidence I have in what I do know.

Mercy writer, Promise keeper, Grace giver, healer , Powerful , Freedom fighter.  These are just a handful of ways to define our Father. 

1 Corinthians 2:9 
But as it is written: “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, that we might know the things that have been freely given to us by God.  

I am always amazed that, when I go to write, God has beautifully orchestrated another side to the story I wanted to tell. As usual I try and read out what I've written to my husband. For me, it's always beneficial to read out loud what thoughts turned into words. You see, I am naturally not great at putting my thoughts on paper. I tend to leave words out, misspell, or add in far too many commas.....But I do it anyway. I love that little part of me! 
Well, after reading and discussing my hearts outpour, it came up that I haven't been the only one considering the lyrics to this song. My husband has been extra sensitive to this song as well. This has been a beautiful reminder to me that I one, I am not alone, and two, through yet another loss God is using our pain to refine us and bring us closer as man and wife and also closer to Him, it's been His mighty way to show us(me) that He is trust worthy when we, or I, start to think perhaps He's not. I am not sure Proof of a sovereign King gets any more real. I am honored that He has given me eyes to this perspective and I pray my perspective grows. 

Through the fire I, we, have experienced some major transformations. All because I simply thought to stop and ponder these lyrics, my pain and suffering was exposed just a little more. 

Psalm 112:7
They won't be afraid of bad news; their hearts are steady because they trust in the Lord.

I was driving home after work and was thinking about my sister in law. Her life's message is often purposefully centered around refinement and sanctification. I was able to apply some of her words to myself and my husband, and was gently reminded how His plan is always purposeful, I was reminded that these two losses have brought a whole new meaning of worship (worship includes: song and any other act that exaults His great name) in my life and how He's used those both for refinement of my intimate worship for His glory. Although my circumstances are extreme, and not at all what I planned or even wanted, I will praise Him for not letting my pain go to waste (it almost makes it seem worthwhile when you're smack-dab in the center of it all). I will stand confident in the dark knowing full well how loved I am by my Maker. I will stand confident while in the dark, so that when I can see the light, it will be a renewed redemptive vision of grace and mercy tangled up in my own story. Stretched, battered and bruised I know full well His plan(s) are good. His promises are true and I've seen this all because my King is alive and living today. Forever.

Death has lost and Love has won
I am His because He is alive.

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