Life.Love.Jesus. : Walking with God

1 Chronicles 29:11

Yours, Lord, is the greatness and the power and

the Glory and the majesty and the splendor,

for everything in heaven and earth is yours.

Yours, Lord, is the kingdom;

you are exalted as head over all.

After walking through what used to be my greatest fear, I've learn that it is now my most treasured season. Surprisingly enough it's not quite as scary as I thought it would be. Not that I really put ANY thoughts into it at all, until I was forced into it. I've come out on the other end and realized that I have survived, I am pleasantly surprised that I am even standing tall. In Him I have placed my trust, and I am learning more and more that the solid rock on which I stand is firmly on Him and Him alone. Knowing full well this will never go to waste. I am also confident that nothing can replace the lessons I have learned and the desperation I have for my savior: all to Him be the glory. For it's only because of Him that I have hope.

As I was listening to the radio the other night there was an interview with Laura Story and I was intrigued. I have heard so many different things about her own personal story and was blown away hearing it from her mouth. Her and her husband went through a tough season, a rather long and extended hard season, and out of that came one of her most popular songs, Blessings. In that interview she said something that totally hit a heart string for my husband and I.

"Are we judging God based on our circumstances?
Or are we judging our circumstances based on
what we know to be true about God?"

This totally made me wonder and question how I was choosing to approach my circumstances. Any circumstance, really, whether it's good or bad. Considering this question and my current circumstances, I soon began to dig a little deeper and evaluate how I was going about and navigating through this life. For several weeks I found myself so frustrated that I had this wonderful Savior, and King who loved me, but at the same time I had the hardest time believing that He could really relate to me. How could this God, who knew no sin yet suffered tremendously, relate to the specific pain I was feeling? I was making judgements, that this God couldn't relate. He didn't understand. Shamefully, I forgot to consider and judge my circumstance on the truth of God and His character.

First of all, God knows full well what it's like to lose a child. Secondly, Jesus didn't have to go through what I went through to suffer, he willingly suffered it all. This new perspective that was plopped into my head was that if I intentionally removed the "name" of my own circumstance and classified it in one particular category, I would definitely place it well within the Pain and Suffering box. Just having the one label instead of a situation made it profoundly clear to me that I am connected to Jesus through the Cross. This small, and simple act made Jesus even more relate-able to me, Jesus became just a little bit more real to me at that moment. Not that He was never real, He just twisted my brain a little and zoomed me out from my perspective. This helped me stand a little more confident in the finished work of the cross through Jesus. He died so that I might live, and know Him on a intimate level. So that when my trials came, He knew full well the agony we feel at times.

I realized that the type of God I needed wasn't one who could relate to my specific pain,

but I needed a God who suffered for the sake of my soul.

I was humbled and broken knowing that, this simple truth should have been enough for me,

a long time ago.

Sufficiency. I see a little more clearly why, many many months ago, he promised me three little words. The finished work, the perfect life He lived, and then His suffering for my sake, should have always been enough. I was far too ignorant, and far too fleshy to LET Him be enough.

I don't care how many times I have to be reminded, I am just so thankful He is good enough to remind me of His perfect sufficiency.

" In light of the cross, suffering becomes purification not punishment."

-Timothy Keller

Because of this connection we received through the cross there is a comfort in knowing that He is with us inside of our pain. He suffered so that we would know full well that He is with us.

1 Peter 4:12-13

12 Dear friends, your faith is going to be tested as if it were going through fire.

Do not be surprised at this.

13 Be happy that you are able to share some of the suffering of Christ.

When his shining greatness is shown

you will be filled with much joy.

I am learning to appreciate, value, and accept the sufficiency of the cross so that I can joyfully walk through this messy life with Christ, sharing in some of this suffering. When I was a little girl, I thought for certain that 'Walking with Jesus' looked a lot different. It was a lot more child like. The older I am the more tainted my image is of this walk. It looks a little less organized and it seems chaotic and messy. The more I take myself back into those times when I was little, the more I realize how much more accurate of an image it really was(peaceful, calm, content, joyful, confident). Choosing to Walk with God is a lot different than I ever imagined, but it is by far, the best investment I have ever made. I would rather walk this life with Him than trying to walk it alone. As Peter proclaimed, I am filled with MUCH joy, and my heart and life is filled to overflowing with peace and happiness.

On a totally new, unrelated note, I was able to celebrate my Daddy's birthday with him this year. That was one highlight from my week. Here are a few snapshots: