Through It All

 

This whole week I have been singing this song. I've had a similar song stuck in my head before, as some might recall. I posted the old hymn on here right before I announced on my blog that I was pregnant with our sweet Colton, I was so at peace and content with what God was doing, at least in that moment.

 

No, I am not pregnant. Actually I've been greeted with more waiting and crappy CD3 tests suggesting DOR (diminished ovarian reserve), looks like I may have the ovaries of a post menopausal woman at the tender age of 26 (almost 27, September baby!!).

 

But recently I've been called to believe in Victory this year. I am certain that this was for a purpose. God's just in the business of writing a really good story and apparently mine might be one to watch. Or I could possibly be trying to write my own story and so far it seems too big to be true and far to grand for my human self, it's a cool story with the culmination ending in major Victory. I've always been under the impression that if it seems too big for my flesh to accomplish it's more than likely a God sized dream. My dreams lately are a little confused, it's like I'm in the process of being completely reorganized in my God sized dreams and goals and ambitions.

 

What's crazy is this song has been on repeat in my head for days, well before I received an unwanted report or discouragement in the face of desperately wanting to create a family. I've realized that MY story isn't really about me at all. It's really only about God making something and someone so broken, both physically and emotionally, whole. That it's simply only because of Him that we walk in Victory, and that things are made right, and we've been redeemed in our suffering. THAT is what's important. My story isn't about me, but about the One who wants us so desperately in His presence. It's about His ability, His character, His promised, and most importantly, His forever Kingdom. I'd so much like to make it really about me, and let's be honest, it STILL sucks that the terrible news, and bad reports keep comin' in like it's the cool thing to do, to drag little Morgan down. But, I've been given the word Victory not as a mistake. I think what makes this journey so worth it are the tiny, quiet little promises I get to experience. As much as I'd like them to show up in big firework displays and in-your-face type situations, I know that this is NOT a mistake. Come on Lord, where's my burning bush, pillar of Fire, or heck, a white horse coming for my rescue?

 

Victory.

 

Because I stand in Victory, not of my own, I can say with such confidence:

 

 Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard

 Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me

 Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can't see

And this mountain that's in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

 Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me

 So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name

It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You Lord
Through it all, through it all
It is well with me.

 

My hope is that this encourages you. Persistence, hope, but most importantly, Victory. Believe it, receive it, accept it.

 

I believe that what this song speaks of is truth, and that for your sake God will toss that mountain deep into the sea. The waves and wind still know His name and because He loves you, It is well.