Through It All

 

This whole week I have been singing this song. I've had a similar song stuck in my head before, as some might recall. I posted the old hymn on here right before I announced on my blog that I was pregnant with our sweet Colton, I was so at peace and content with what God was doing, at least in that moment.

 

No, I am not pregnant. Actually I've been greeted with more waiting and crappy CD3 tests suggesting DOR (diminished ovarian reserve), looks like I may have the ovaries of a post menopausal woman at the tender age of 26 (almost 27, September baby!!).

 

But recently I've been called to believe in Victory this year. I am certain that this was for a purpose. God's just in the business of writing a really good story and apparently mine might be one to watch. Or I could possibly be trying to write my own story and so far it seems too big to be true and far to grand for my human self, it's a cool story with the culmination ending in major Victory. I've always been under the impression that if it seems too big for my flesh to accomplish it's more than likely a God sized dream. My dreams lately are a little confused, it's like I'm in the process of being completely reorganized in my God sized dreams and goals and ambitions.

 

What's crazy is this song has been on repeat in my head for days, well before I received an unwanted report or discouragement in the face of desperately wanting to create a family. I've realized that MY story isn't really about me at all. It's really only about God making something and someone so broken, both physically and emotionally, whole. That it's simply only because of Him that we walk in Victory, and that things are made right, and we've been redeemed in our suffering. THAT is what's important. My story isn't about me, but about the One who wants us so desperately in His presence. It's about His ability, His character, His promised, and most importantly, His forever Kingdom. I'd so much like to make it really about me, and let's be honest, it STILL sucks that the terrible news, and bad reports keep comin' in like it's the cool thing to do, to drag little Morgan down. But, I've been given the word Victory not as a mistake. I think what makes this journey so worth it are the tiny, quiet little promises I get to experience. As much as I'd like them to show up in big firework displays and in-your-face type situations, I know that this is NOT a mistake. Come on Lord, where's my burning bush, pillar of Fire, or heck, a white horse coming for my rescue?

 

Victory.

 

Because I stand in Victory, not of my own, I can say with such confidence:

 

 Grander earth has quaked before
Moved by the sound of His voice
Seas that are shaken and stirred
Can be calmed and broken for my regard

 Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me

 Far be it from me to not believe
Even when my eyes can't see

And this mountain that's in front of me
Will be thrown into the midst of the sea

 Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
Through it all, through it all
It is well

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You
It is well with me

 So let go my soul and trust in Him
The waves and wind still know His name

It is well with my soul
It is well with my soul

Through it all, through it all
My eyes are on You Lord
Through it all, through it all
It is well with me.

 

My hope is that this encourages you. Persistence, hope, but most importantly, Victory. Believe it, receive it, accept it.

 

I believe that what this song speaks of is truth, and that for your sake God will toss that mountain deep into the sea. The waves and wind still know His name and because He loves you, It is well.

 

 

Bronson Bear and Renovations

Many of my friends and family know that I had a wonderful Rottie that ended up staying with my ex, Jer, before I started dating my husband. That was possibly the hardest good bye I've ever had to do (the pup, not the ex).

This week I got news that at the tender age of 3.5 years old he died from Cancer. It was a very aggressive form of cancer and from start to finish it only took about 3 months to completely take over his entire body. I am so thankful that Jer told me. Although I could have gone without talking to him (ever!), I was happy to know that he knew how much Bronson meant to me, and felt that I should know.

Bronson was my best friend, my companion, my bud. He went everywhere with me, I put in countless hours training him and loving him. He saw a lot of tears and made me laugh constantly. When I felt alone in that relationship, I knew that my pup would be there through thick and thin. He was the very first dog I ever owned.

Upon receiving that news I sat in my car and cried. I have experienced so much loss this year and have said countless goodbyes over my short life, I was so sad that I didn't get to say goodbye to him that day that Jer put him to rest. He did agree to send me a more recent picture of our Pup and also agreed to send me a picture of his urn and keep me updated on what he will do with Bronson's ashes. I loved that pup with all I could give and he never failed to give me love back.

(this one is not great quality but the first week I brought him home)

My Bronson Bear, I have missed you and I will always miss you. I know for certain you are up there with Baby Brooks 1 and 2 and taking care of Colton, holding down the fort. You were always protective over me, and I just know you are making sure my little ones are safe.

Love you always, Me

This last weekend I had big plans to paint and get our 3rd bathroom/laundry room ready and painted for the delivery of our washer and dryer. When my hubs tore off the baseboards we found the dreaded black mold. Lucky us, it wasn't nearly as bad as we thought it was or could have been. So the money we had planned on spending on remodeling the master bathroom went straight into this bathroom. This was the only "Before" picture I have, and as you can tell it's in the process of being ripped apart. I am getting super excited about the finished product. As this room was poorly done by the previous owners, and half finished, we are now able to finish it completely and make it look 10000x better! I'm certain my next post will more than likely include the finished product.

Don't worry, we tore down the awful curtains! The vanity is actually in decent condition so my next project is to sand that bugger and paint it, replace the counter top and hardware/faucet. Instead of putting the grubby old mirror that was on there we will put up a new mirror and it will be a lot more simple. I am very excited, even though it was an unexpected expense. 

This last week has been packed full! We had VBS from 6-9pm each night and it flew by! We also ran into a speed bump with our newest addition, Jamus, he ended up getting a staph infection up into his kidneys, so a few rounds of antibiotics are in our future. I was so concerned for him and after news about my little Bronson I was not ready to say another goodbye to a tiny little puppy. Of course the infection is rather serious, he should recover just fine, so my poor brain had gone straight to the worst case scenario.  

(He actually loves everyone at the vet!)

God is faithful, he knows our needs, and knows our desires. He'll care for us, and care for my little fur babies. Although it's been seemingly stressful I am actually quite at peace knowing that He is a provider and at peace remembering that He has always been faithful through everything and knowing that He will remain faithful through whatever is next.....

 However, I do feel that a pedicure should be in my near future. Yep, that's it!! A Pedicure. (Hear that hubs, I think I NEED it ;) )